new start

It took me such a very long time to get painting again. I think the birth of Nikolai really surprised me and the loss of the old studio was a deep wound. I loved painting in that large space and I think I mostly liked the aesthetics of the whole thing. Going to an old ag/industrial space seemed to fit the idea of what a painter or an artist is supposed to do. In retrospect now I see that's an ideal set up by academic and popular mythology. One doesn't need a commercial studio space to make paintings.

I thought too that I could convert the 3rd floor of the house to a studio and that would be the end of things. I was wrong. I have a great 3rd floor now but no walls. A painter needs wall simply to put the work up and let it exist around oneself. Without it one can't see. And after all seeing is the thing I'm ultimately interested in.

But after much labor, disappointment and confusion I finished the Chort (Chris's fort) last summer and it's a pretty good working space. I made a commitment to make my own paint and to work on a smaller more domestic scale too. So far it's been a rewarding process.